(How To) Do The Thing (You Fear): Steve Jobs on Love, Death and Drive

On a prickly hot summer day — June 12th, 2005 — my younger sister, Missy, a passionate historian turned intrepid computer scientist, was graduating from Stanford University. Our family had flocked to Silicon Valley from all over the United States, Ghana and the United Kingdom. And there we sat, a motley clan, roasting in the bleachers of Stanford Stadium, eager to see Missy graduate and, of course, to hear the legendary Steve Jobs deliver his much-anticipated keynote.

Everyone at the stadium listened with baited breath as Jobs spoke. Yet the most life-altering part of his iconic speech remains the least remembered.

In a nutshell, he said:

Remember that you will die.

What a ray of sunshine! No wonder people forget. But here is the actual quote, for context:

“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

Now that hits differently, doesn't it?

Given that we all will die and do not even know precisely when or how, why should you not follow your heart? While you are still here, why should anything stop you from doing what you sense deep down you are here to do?

Faced with certain death, many of our worries become inconsequential and fear falls away.

I mean, if I'm going to die, does it matter whether you laugh at me for trying something new? No. If I am going to die, I want to know I have given life my very best shot — every single day — and others' opinions be darned. (Sorry not sorry, and neither should you be.)

So. . .”Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” (as Mary Oliver asks us in her poem "The Summer Day"). What will you regret not having done when your time to go comes?

What is the entrepreneurial, corporate, vocational, educational, recreational, social, interpersonal or spiritual venture you feel called to or drawn to, but have been putting off for another day? Tomorrow is not promised. If you are going to die (as we all are), why not begin it now? Next to death, you have nothing to lose.

And here on The CNKD Way, you have everything to gain.

When Steve Jobs was booted from Apple, the company he founded (with Steve "Woz" Wozniak), four levers propelled him forward: Courage to continue, despite the humiliation and uncertainty; Necessity, or the need to succeed (his “why” à la Simon Sinek) that undergirded his courage and helped him show up each day; Knowledge to build something else marvelous (Pixar and more); and Discernment to take the right steps, at the right time, with the right people, and not fall back into the same traps.

These are the same levers Oprah leaned on when she was fired as a reporter for being too sentimental, after which we got the talk-show host of legend and the Oprah we know today. Courage, necessity, knowledge and discernment rescued her again when her big bet on her OWN network at first floundered.

Read the stories of Jack Ma, Aliko Dangote and Indra Nooyi — don’t stop there, add Mel Robbins, Steven Bartlett, Sara Blakely, Rihanna and countless others — and you will find those four levers of courage, necessity, knowledge and discernment figuring prominently on their journeys as well. These luminaries have all been on The CNKD Way. Dr. Alan Garber, Harvard University's 31st president, is presently a prime example.

In this series of letters and podcasts, we’ll explore these trailblazers' journeys, as well as yours and mine.

Okay. So maybe you're not a fan of Steve Jobs. But what he said is an immutable human truth — one that predates him and will outlive you and me. Sages throughout the ages have sensed and said the same thing in different ways. Here are some of my favorite renditions:

“Let us prepare our minds as if we had come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day. The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.” — Seneca (ancient Stoic philosopher)

“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.” — James Dean (celebrated actor)

“Death shows up to remind us to live more fully.” — Oprah Winfrey (media mogul)

“I think about death all the time and that’s what. . .has given me freedom to take big shots.” — Alex Hormozi (business guru)

“Because death is kind of standing there with its hands on its hips, you better get around to living, you better get around to savoring and experiencing each day as it comes because it’s limited. It’s a limited-time offer.” — Anne Lamott (celebrated author)

“They thought that the bullets would silence us, but they failed. . .nothing changed in my life except this: weakness, fear and hopelessness died. Strength, power and courage were born.” — Malala Yousafzai (education activist)

“If you decide today that you’re going to live every day like it’s your last for real, which means have a conversation with yourself every night that ‘This could have been it. . .it will change your life. You’ll really start making decisions and living your life like this is all you got, just this one day. But you can be a winner; you can be a winner on this day.” — Katt Williams (popular comedian)

"Valar morghulis." If you know, you know. Remembering that we will die, I am inviting you to join me on The CNKD Way — the way of Courage, Necessity, Knowledge and Discernment that propels us to live better and do more. . .not only for ourselves and our loved ones, but also for the world.

If you liked this letter, subscribe below for updates and share it with anyone who may need it. We will rendez-vous weekly via The CNKD Way Letter, The CNKD Way Podcast and more. I welcome your replies and can't wait to see how you thrive!

Cheers,

Cheryl

About The CNKD Way

Live better and do more of what you desire
with Courage, Necessity, Knowledge and Discernment.
Pronounced “synced” as in “synchronized”.

This CNKD Way Letter was written by this barefaced human.👇
Any photographs included were taken by the same human, unedited/unfiltered, unless otherwise stated. (Because nature needs no filter, which is the point.)